Wassup my estranged lovers ! yea yea I know..pipe down and love me like I love you ❤

I got something I wanna share with you today…it’s been real interesting to me..hear me out, let me know what you would do in the situation…or how you would feel…either is fine..

Weird stuff has been happening to me..but not weird, like awkward..but out of the norm in my day to day..there’s a bunch but I think I’ll share three or four occasions…first is a text I got yesterday from my it he said: ” you are a special son, I know I have three(3) sons now but only one you and I love you” I didn’t quite know how to respond to the text…reason for that is, I don’t have a good relationship with my father…it’s not a bad one either it’s just that we don’t talk much… we haven’t been in the same room in about two(2) years..and that was at my brother’s funeral…anyhow, I didn’t text him back..I plan on doing so though for those of you thinking that I should..I just don’t know when that’s going to be at the moment…

Second one is, my grandma came over to visit this week..I wasn’t home when she arrived…and I’ve yet to be…I stopped by on Monday to let her see my face..spoke for a while..she was elated to see me..I love my grandma..stayed with her as a kid coming up..she’s loving and kindhearted, yet stern at the same time..did something stupid and well, I don’t need to state what the consequences were…back to the point, I’ve digressed enough..she had told me her and my mom were talking and-in a nutshell-she told her, I’m going to be just fine just you wait…my mom’s a worry head…but this was the second time she’s reassured her that I’m going to be well off just “let me be” in a sense..

People around me i.e. friends, acquaintances etc their behavior towards me has shifted…though not in a negative way but know being around people you’re used to them interacting with you a certain way but lately it’s been different…I like it but it’s all just caught me off guard…

I know you’re wondering..”where are you going with this dude ?”..I’ll tie it all together in a second just keep your pants on..if you’re a female..feel free to lose the pants and any other article of clothing

Now being the analytical guy I am I came to a conclusion…it’s not them that “shifted” per se but rather I…in demeanor and came to me whilst looking at some photos a friend took on each frame I studied myself..and it was as if I was looking at someone of greatness..I know I tend to toot my own horn at times but bare with me..I’m being posture was erect as of a king walking his kingdom….and it hit me..I’ve finally accepted a whole, as someone who is of greatness and lofty in ideals…as you’ve noticed it’s the picture in this post

Soooo yeaaaa…that’s what I wanted to share with you guys..hopefully you still love and you were entertained..I’m thinking of doing some vlogs…since at times I feel way too lazy to sit here and type..but yea man..that was on my mind and I shared it with you…don’t you feel the loovvee ??…:P


You never want it until you want it

(for some reason this never got posted dunno why:/..but enjoy )

What is it that you want??….what do you want most in the entire world..?is it something lavish or grandeur?..or maybe it’s something simple…? what ever it is…the question I bring to you is, do you really want it?? or is it merely an idea floating around in your head to help you escape the reality that you loath?…

The title of this post has been stuck in my head for over a week now..and it’s proven itself to be quite prevalent..I’m sure in your head you’re saying “of course I really want what I dream about” or “what do you mean you never want it until you want it?”  I’ll explain..

Most people say they want success or anything else they tell you they want for that matter..but the truth is, they don’t…very few people actually have that drive to push for a reality no one else sees…and I call it a reality because to them it is as real and as tangible as the very skin on their bodies…getting back to why most people say they want something but don’t really want it as bad as they think they do…people are accustomed to not to them having something isn’t a reality they are really willing to deal with…I guarantee you if you give a person the opportunity to have what it is they want in life 8 times out of 10 they’ll choke…and the reason they choke is that, they realize, the thing that they want is right within their grasp but they’re too afraid  to reach out and hold it…LeBron James is a perfect example of what I’m talking about..just recently he had the chance of having a championship ring..something he said he always wanted..but he faltered when he needed to step up…and you have a lot of people who are like this…I’m not trying to discredit persons like this, I’m simply illustrating a point so that it’s understood….

But that’s not why I’ve taken the time out to grab your attention today….I’m writing this to etched a thought or question rather, into your being…”do I really want this?” if so how bad do you want it?…it wasn’t until a few days ago I really made up my mind that I really want my dreams to come true…before, I had  doubt…you have people in this world you know from the very moment of conception that “I want this and I’m willing to do any and everything to get it no matter the circumstance“….and it is these persons that go on to become a Bob Marley, Will Smith, Chris Gardner and so forth…dedication, determination, discipline, and desire…..these traits bring to us success…

Dedication to get the work done

Determination to see it through

Discipline to have the patients to inure the times of struggle

Desire to never give up

You never want it until you WANT it

because it is in that moment you make up your mind that if both heaven and hell conspires to stop you from achieving your dreams…they’ll have to die trying….

Nothing can come between you and what you want except you….there’s this passage from my favourite book ” The Alchemist” by Paulo Coelh it goes “When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it” and that’s because as stated in another part of the book “There is one great truth on this planet: whoever you are, or whatever it is that you do, when you really want something, it’s because that desire originated in the soul of the universe…. The soul of the world is nourished by people’s happiness

So I leave you with this question… do you really want it??? *cynical grin*

You be my therapist

Hmmm…where do I start?… I guess I could fill you guys in on where the hell I’ve been over the past few months….but that’s getting old…let’s just say that me and life are having a complicated relationship right now :/….


 I’ve provided ambience for you, so that you won’t be completely bored while you read my thoughts…soo enjoy you lovely person, you…

Now let’s get this over with, shall we Doc

*deep sigh*  

 I’ve been fighting with myself lately…and not the regular “I’m right your wrong” kind of fight. This is more of the “suck it up and keep moving” ones…Is this making sense to you Doc.? Okay I’ll be more descriptive..recent events has left me doubting myself and I’ve been struggling with the confidence to suck it all up and ignore it all…I know where my focus should be and yet I can’t bring myself to invest all my energy towards it.. what’s that you say??…It’s my music career…as you can imagine it’s not been going quite swimmingly…as with everything in life you wanna accomplish…there’s always these obstacles you place in your path that trips you up…yea you heard correct I said you…”you” being me that is…but you already knew that, after all you’re the one with the degree. You see my problem isn’t with any external hindrances but internal…

I know what I should be doing but I keep holding myself back and I can’t seem to figure out why I’m doing this…Some days I’m fine and others I feel the way I am now…like I’m a hamster on a wheel..I try to tell myself to keep pushing on but my words fall on my deaf ears….I want so bad to not fail at this but time and time again I give into my fear..Should I blame my childhood Doc? what about it you ask??….well let’s just say it wasn’t the best but it wasn’t the worst because I’m pretty sure there’s someone who had it a whole lot worse that I did…as a kid I was always alone(at least I felt like it)…I moved around a lot..but it wasn’t like I didn’t have family around or anything like that, but it felt like it…well everyone was much older than I was, and the only ones that were my age didn’t live close by so I would only interact with them occasionally…I had a few friends but we weren’t that close…this was from the age of 4-9…and at the time I was staying with my mom and my grandparents(back and forth). Age 10 I stayed with my father for two years then I moved back with my mom…but all that’s another story Doc and I don’t feel like paying you any more than I am to sit a longer session…where were we? oh yes..childhood and being a loner..

I continued to make friends but I’d still feel like I was alone…I grew close with some of them but yea that loneliness was always around…I guess I owe it to the fact that I always felt less fortunate around them.. my parents weren’t exactly well off and with them being divorced didn’t exactly lend to making my life any better…my older brother tried to do his best with seeing that everything went well but there’s only so much one man can do…he did carpentry work, then at one point he worked at an athletic store…also some work that wasn’t exactly legal…but that’s off the topic isn’t it?…but I always felt less of a person because I wasn’t able to have the latest in fashion, electronic gadgets etc…I went through my entire childhood like that…and it didn’t change when I got out of school and started working….there’s only so much you can do with minimum wage…no, I did graduate..just didn’t go to college..didn’t have that opportunity..I wanted to though..I wanted to study Mechanical Drafting…do you think I’m taking it all to hard Doc??…or is it all just in my head??…I need answers…you got Dr. Phil’s number??…oh you’re better than he is??…I’m sorry I brought it up…can we continue? or did I just mess it all up? we can?? really are a nice person…I’ve got a lot wrong wit me Doc..maybe I need a personal Jesus… it seems I’ve strayed though…what’s all this has to do with me and my career..? I usually just keep all this bottled up so guess everything is fighting for a chance to be heard…I guess I don’t want to seem like I’m whining and I hate to feel weak…I’ve had to be strong for so long I think I’ve lost touch with myself in a sense..shutting the door on what makes me human..

Is that bad? I mean can it lead to habits that can affect my relationship with people???…I think maybe if I learn to express myself better I’d be able to deal with all this better..don’t you think? some musician I am huh?…

 You see this is why I need your help help me with all this and you won’t have to listen to all this incoherent rant any more we’d both like for me to be here..

They say music is therapy but I get frustrated at times with it..I feel limited and caged….it’s cause I can’t express myself they way I would like to Doc…weren’t you listening????…I think I’m gonna need my money back…I kid I kid ! don’t get all tensed about it…I think i realise a part of the problem Doc…I let myself get caught up in all my insecurities and fail to acknowledge how great of a person I am..I actually really talented and amazing when I wanna be..people love least that’s what they tell me but between me and you I Doc sometimes it’s hard to believe…

My love life??? don’t you think you’re moving a bit too fast there?…I mean you’re good looking and all but I barely know you… Ohh you bad…well  I’ve had a few apples in my eye…but in the end never got around to picking them..well this may be a shocker to you but as handsome as I am I wasn’t the apple in their eye..not even a grape…I know, I know…same thing I said….but hey what can you say c’est la vi…or whatever it is the French say…at the moment?…uhh there is one…nah I’ve known her for a while a little over 6 years…in the past yes but over time we just became friends..but I never stopped liking her though…when I get myself together I’ll grow the balls and give it another shot…

You know I’m feeling better already, you really are good.. but I’m afraid out time is up for this session… we’ll continue on a later date..I’ll give you a ring..ciao! (by the way the music had nothing to do with how I was feeling I just happened to be listening to it and thought I’d have you guys listen a long with me but you must agree it is a good song :))


Women in my life

Hallo world :)….today I’m going to share with you a little about the females in my life…I know what you’re thinking…I too wish I was a suave-talking-chick-magnet also…man I envy those guys…but back to the matter at hand…and no this is not a complaint about how much women get on my nerves or how I wish I could bag a lot of em…I think I just lost the attention of  every person that may have wanted to continue reading this post…-.-” but as the French say “C’est la vi” I think:/..if I’m wrong just correct it in your heads…

As men we have a lot on our plates..things like…”when am I gonna get laid?”, “does this shirt smell?’, “oh shit I think she sees my boner!”, and it takes a lot to process these things…especially since we can only perform one task at a time….this is why we make so many blunders..we try to multi task and our brain shuts down causing our blood to flow to our back up which isn’t any better than the one that just shut down (pat yourself on the back if you got that one)

*also I took the liberty of adding some ambiance music while you read so just press play on the little video  here..if it stops before you finish reading just press the replay button  *

*voice in your head* ” what is he yapping about?? o_0??”

I  promise this will all make sense in a few years….. or not:/

In my 20+ years on this spit-ball we call earth, I’ve come across a lot of interesting women…old and young and I would say all ethnicities but I’ve yet to meet an Indian,Russian, German, French, or Dutch chick….I’m working on it though…Okay I think I’ve digressed enough…but yea you get the picture…as I was saying..they’re all interesting….unique in their own way..some more intelligent than others..and some I ask myself “why?”….but interesting nonetheless…with that being said..I’ve learned a lot from them..I’ve had a crush on 98% of them and 99.9%  of them I want to have sex with…(don’t look at me like that…I’m just being honest.. I wouldn’t be a guy if I didn’t) I can’t help that I come across beautiful women all  the  time…what can I say I have great luck with running into them..<—-me being cocky 

I dunno though..I can’t ever seem to get the one I wanted…and  the ones that do want me loses interest…I’m cursed..or just that lame….either, or…it still sucks to be me…wait what am I saying I freaking awesome..psshh me and my self loathing comments…

I have this female that I’m friends with..she’s super cool…and she has a boyfriend but I find myself wanting to fuck  her brains out…it’s weird..I know what you’re saying ” typical guy”….here’s what I have to say to your little thought…FUCK YOU! don’t judge me!…wait this isn’t the first time this has happened to did I let this cycle repeat itself? God, if you’re reading this you’re not funny knock it off buddy…seriously your sense of humor is sick..why would you give me female friends I care enough about to not wanna mess their relationship up cause I’m horny…? sick bastard -.-“….

I  also I have female friends that have boyfriends only because we can’t be together due to long distance<—what I tell myself but I think every guy thinks this…at least the ones that have egos like me…but deep inside this egomaniacal guy I have insecurities about myself…

An example of this is…one of my beautiful female friends I started to grow feelings for..I originally had intentions of only being friends with her..and at the time she had a boyfriend which made it least that was the excuse I used to enforce my intent…as I got to know her personally I found myself falling for her..I would shrug it off and put it on the back-burner telling myself “she’s just a friend” but you can only ignore something for so long…recently she broke up with her boyfriend….I shall say no more…I’ve told just about all the females I had feelings for that I did…nothing ever came out of it but I still put it out there cause I didn’t want it to fester…but this time it’s different…I guess it’s cause she’s a bit different from the others…I’m actually afraid to tell her because I’m uncertain about how things would be after it and how things would be if we ended up being in a relationship…how do you tell someone ” I like you but I’m not sure if I would like to pursue you” ?? I know it can be said different but a rose by any other name is still a rose….sugar coating it won’t help…but I think it’s just my insecurity of never being good enough for a female…I am an awesome person…one like no other but my luck in the female department hasn’t been too well…it’s a hill I’m climbing over though

I’m a victim of being exposed to too many beautiful women at once..*sigh*

As The World Turns

September 2025 lunar eclipse

Image via Wikipedia

Hey guys, yea I know it’s been a while..I see I’ve lost a few followers but life goes on I guess…I’d like to apologize for the hiatus..due to circumstances beyond my control (life and it’s many surprises-_-“) I wasn’t able to post anything..I’m wondering if now if I’ll be able to post as much as I used to…I’ll kind of explain what I’m talking about in a moment…I wanna get the pleasantries out of the way first….soooo…how the heck are ya ! you guys look dashing..with the exception of few :/..I kid I kid hehe….

How long has it been?.. let’s see here..*searches mental rolodex * .. oh’s been longer than I thought….once again I apologize to you guys…(that’s to the two in the corner over there who actually cares)..<—me being modest…I know you all missed me:D!…<—things I tell myself to sleep good at night…but seriously I know I was missed and I missed you guys also.. 😦

I won’t get into the full details of why I was missing so long..but here’s a concise rundown of things…

A few months back I told you guys that I moved.. well..that whole thing went sour :|…turns out the person who was renting the house to us wanted to make a few bucks before the bank repossessed it..twisted in the head right??!…that’s not the half of it…they then turn around and said we moved into the house illegally o_o… it turned into a legal matter..the person ended up losing the house and we had to move out..yup folks..the world ain’t fair…a sad reality….I ended up moving in with a friend for a while til’ everything got straightened out….all this happened within the month of July and August (the legal matter)…and in September I moved in with a get this you guys…the reason I was staying with said friend besides the fact that I had no where else to go but also so that it would be easier for my mom to find a place for her and my little brothers to stay….while in the main time I’d try to find a job…(which I’ve been doing since before all this happened…my luck hasn’t been too well to say the least) it’s now the middle of October…guess what folks…my mom found a place last month…which I found out last week…I was taken aback when I found out about it…no one tried to contact me…no phone carrier pigeon with a letter,  nothing… I know you’re probably saying “well weren’t you trying to contact them?” yes I was..and when I did reach my mom on those occasions  I guess it wasn’t that important to inform me that she found a place….of course now, I was hurt, but hey, maybe I’m looking at it wrong…maybe me asking “so mom did you find a place yet?” wasn’t an incentive to let me know that she did..I don’t know…I sometimes wonder why I haven’t lost it yet…oh well c’est la vie :I…my plan is to now search even harder to find a job and move out on my own…this doesn’t mean that I love my mom any less…she is a female after all..and they do crazy things can’t dislike em for it..and stuff happens..just gotta roll with the punches and keep going..



Hey guys…hope all is well for you on this day of living..I’m here writing a song but I got writers block….so I switched the instrumental I originally had playing to another one, to clear my thoughts…and a mood encompassed me…swallowing my mind, sending it in a state of  ” I wanna just get away ” …I’m sure, if not all of you, but 99.9% of you can relate…it’s a feeling wanting to be free…free from life, stress; and all other annoyances….wanting to be alone to enjoy yourself, appreciating all that you have and all that you don’t…it’s that compelling impulse to disappear, be it mentally or physically..either way, both gives us the escape we want…have a nice day guys..

until next time.. live and enjoy

Rio and Dom’s Guide to Lovin’ the Ladies

It’s a sunny day at the park, the leaves on the trees are a luscious green, summer’s breeze brushes the skin with it’s soothing temperature..birds chirp a choral in the sweetest harmony, nature’s aura saturates the air boosting the hormone levels of us humans..there are people jogging and walking, the eyes of males are fixated on each curve and definition of passing females. Even squirrels are getting in on the action. Here we meet a young male, Calvin, in his early twenties. Our young friend is tall, medium built, flabby arms and a plywood chest. Among his various interests include some things on the nerdy side of life, his favorite sports teams, and numerous music groups that he follows ardently. Yes, our friend is an interesting guy but yet, how is he still single? Is he hideous to behold? Far from it! Calvin is ready to chat and mingle with the young attractive ladies of the world. He then mentions to us (Dom & Rio) that is the actual chatting portion of meeting the opposite sex that he so struggles with. That is why, for his benefit and for dozens of other male internet readers with similar questions, we have assembled a quick reference guide to help you all on your way.

Chapter 1: Introducing Yourself 

#1: You have balls, use them.

The general premise of these tips would be that you, the reader, want to approach a young lady of your choosing and be able to a) converse with her, b) ask her out, and c) hopefully work your way around the baseball field. So the first step is to take your hand, right or left will do, and stick it underneath your underwear. Then feel around down there. You should find what is termed in medical texts as testicles or in colloquial language – balls. Got them? Good. Now utilize the power that emits from them. The power is literally in your hands. There is a fine line between arrogance and confidence, but let’s assume that you are nowhere near that level of cockiness that is known as a douche. The term “grow some balls” is to realize that you need to have confidence in every situation of your life, this upcoming conversation being no exception. Stand up, smile, and walk over to begin chatting up the hot girl that caught your eye.

I couldn’t have said it any better Rio..well maybe just a little better…but that’s not important…what’s important is as stated before, learn to utilize  your gonads…they’re not just pretty decoration my friend…no female  likes a guy who has no back bone….it’s an automatic turn off…this will only get you another date with that porn dvd that you rented…..forget about making a fool of yourself..that happens when you think about not making a fool of yourself…one must be assertive when approaching a female…just observe nature…if a male animal wants to mate he has to be aggressive or else..I’m not saying you revert to your caveman instincts and club her over the head…that part comes in the advance  section of this lecture…

#2: “Hi…uhh…uhh”

So you walked up to said girl. Somehow, the words didn’t start flowing right from your mouth to charm the lady. Isn’t that weird? It isn’t like she is a different animal species or anything, she’s a regular human being who probably (correct me if I am wrong here) likes being with friends, music, and certain types of entertainment such as TV, movies, plays, operas, etc etc etc. So you have zero excuses for not being able to find something to talk about. You have interests too don’t you? Maybe, just maybe, she is also a fan of such things. And if she’s not, she might be willing to hear more about it. Now I know that you are worried about boring her out of her mind. Your collection of mint-condition The Amazing Spiderman comics might not tickle her fancy but guess what? It is going to be JUST FINE BRO. You just move on to another topic or better yet, talk about something she likes.

Rio‘s right once again…the guy’s a regular Mac Daddy….if you eat your veggies and fall on your face a few times you too can be as good as him…to the inexperienced it may seem like rocket science but it’s actually a walk in the park…no really it is…I’ve had my fair share of boring a female to death, having her excuse herself and never returning…it’s a very despondent feeling…but that’s fine….experience is the best teacher….you learn to adapt to such situations….you become more smooth on your tongue…your use of words become prolific…you start to gain laughs..then when you’ve gotten really good at it, she gives you the little cute “giggle of interest”…. the key to all this my friends is BEING YOURSELF…they like that…it makes them feel comfortable and your company for the moment is enjoyable…never be afraid to say the first thing that comes to mind..just as long as it’s not something creepy like ” Can I smell your hair?” or “Wanna see my tooth collection?” …I shouldn’t have to elaborate on the outcome of that…start things off with a simple “hello, you look lovely today”..ladies love compliments…sincere ones though…anything that sounds like a pick up line won’t work..

IMPORTANT: if you’re a beginner do not approach a female that looks angry, busy or down and’s not a good look for you.

#3: What did she say again?

Over and over you hear it in practically every rom-com you watch, but god-damn it buddy, listen to what she is saying. As she is going on about her family, her job, or her day, there might be a good chance that this information is key to understanding what is going on in her head. Females are difficult to understand to begin with, so you are going to need every piece of help you can get. Do not get stuck in what I call the “uh-huh” mindset. She keeps chatting away, while you nod your head and go “uh-huh”, “that’s great”, and “I’m losing my boner here” in an effort to move things along. There is also this thing, you might have heard of it, called body language. If she is gradually putting some distance between you two, that might be a sign that things aren’t going that well or she is getting ready to make a dash to the nearest public restroom. The two might or might be related to one another. But if she is smiling, laughing, and acting overall like a normal friendly human being, chances are you are achieving your goal of not being a creeper.

Yes, I too am guilty of the “uh-huh” mindset…sometimes it can get longueur and mundane quick..this only happens when your mind is if focused on one thing though…or should I say two things…avert your attention from the boobs…yes they look like God took his time to diligently sculpt them..but that’s something to be admired after you’ve actually gotten somewhere…like past the first few dates…it’s not difficult to pay attention and listen to what she’s just got to take control of the the same time making it all about her….women are narcissists whether they like to admit it or not..some more narcissistic than others…say as very little about yourself unless she inquires…now realistically it’s not possible to remember everything she says…but try to remember as much as you can…like what she like to eat,favorite song, something she likes doing etc…when you do remember these things you gain major brownie shows you’re really interested and you don’t wanna just “toot it and boot it”

#4: Don’t Stop Believin’

After your friendly and hopefully flirtatious chat is over, it might be a good decision to ask said lady for her phone number to arrange a future meeting. Acceptable inquiries range from person to person but I find a simple “Hey I had a great time talking to you, and I would definitely like to spend more time getting to know you” should suffice. If she is interested as well, then numbers should flow easily and a date proposed for future confirmation. Congrats you have yourself a potential future date. The journey has just begun, young grasshopper, but you are off on the right foot.

But say she doesn’t want to give you her number. She hmm’s and huh’s and fidgets around while trying to make very awkward sidetalk. No problem good sir. Understand the situation immediately and end the conversation politely and say good-bye. There is no need for groveling or begging here. Just open your eyes, realize there are more girls out there, and start from step #1.

I don’t think there’s anything I can add here…I’d just be repeating what he said…sooo yea… what he said… and you’ll be fine…rejection is normal..take it and brush it off and move on to the next one..women outnumber us greatly…there’s gonna be one who you’ll reel in…the more you fail the more experience you get, the better you get at this… repeat steps 1-4 and you’ll be fine… this is the part where you swallow that knot in your throat, go out and say hi

my first collaborative post :)…hope it was enjoyable for you guys

I’m a rolling stone me

Hey guys ho–wait what’s with all the angry know how this works..I blog then disappear for a while and return…it’s how we get a’s the bond that makes this relationship work…I thought you understood me :(..I guess not *le sigh*

Okay I know I’ve M.I.A for a while but I have a legitimate excuse…I’ve been busy with–oh hey would you look at the time….ahh just kidding..but yes I’ve been busy with this mess I call a life…mostly my’s been taking a turn for the better and warranting a lot of my time lately….

Let’s recap a bit shall we…

I recently had a performance 3 weeks went well..for the most part..a lot of stuff was happening, the whole thing was starting to fall apart just with all things in I’ve been told..people were backing out of the show and some circumstances beyond our control..but contrary to it all we managed to pull it together and get the ball rolling :)….I do wish I had images to show you guys how awesome I was…next time I guess

I’ve been on the job hunt also(being a broke recording artist isn’t cool) my world that means not really…just checking out a few things and if I didn’t like em I’d blow em off..but I think I may have something..let’s keep our fingers crossed :)…

What else is there..hmm..let’s see……………………………………….oh yes there is that..but I don’t think I’m at liberty to share with you guys….maybe some other time if I remember..or decide that I just don’t care about the consequences of letting my tongue or in this case fingers do a bit of forbidden rambling…’d like that wouldn’t you *smug look*..we’ll see..if my testicles decide to finally drop and I be a man about it 0.o…lol

I think these gaps in between posts are good for us though…don’t ask my why I think so I just do…(me being lazy mostly)…but I’ve been thinking lately….for those of you who actually read my blog avidly…I wanted to start posting on this blog my days when I’m at the studio making music…i.e. photos, videos and rants…do you guys think this is a good idea or should I create another blog to cater to that specifically…cause I really want to share that part of my life with you guys….sooo leave a comment and let me know what you think 🙂 I would appreciate your opinion..after all it’s all for you 🙂



I didn’t make the cut :(

So apparently the world is suppose to end today o.o….and only Christians or whatever are gonna survive this day..*sigh* whoa is me…I guess I won’t be making the cut….it’s been nice knowing you guys :(…

There’s so much I didn’t accomplish though…like going for ice cream on Sundays…picking flowers from the meadow…*sniff sniff*…it’s been a short one…all and all it was somewhat sort of a good one..I mean look how many friends I’ve made….most of em I’m not actually friends with, that’s cause I stalk them so we’re secretly friends in my mind…oh yea and the ones that actually live in my mind..there’s about 15 of em…but nonetheless I’ve made a lot of friends..and I’m happy to have been acquainted with them…they made each day an adventure…I know you guys probably think I’m crazy but I’ve checked it, and it turns out that I didn’t make the list….I don’t go to church any more…so I’m not exactly in God’s good graces :(…I should have never stopped…but this is my punishment and I’ll accept it with my head held high gosh darnit!!..although wish I could’ve walked the streets of gold and honey…

I guess it’s time I start thinking about life down here in hell from now on..I wonder if there’ll be ice-cream here still..or some kind of frozen treat..don’t think I’ll like the heat very much…hey maybe Mr. Satan’s really a nice guy…no one’s ever really met him before…who knows he may not be as evil as he’s portrayed….come to think of it, we’ve never really heard his side of the’s always been a one sided thing..and(people are so gonna hate me for this) quite frankly it’s completely unfair…even if he is a evil being bent on ruling the world and torturing souls..he should at least be heard..they give criminals that privilege so we should give him that also…it’s only right….and if I’m wrong oh well, I’m already not making it to heaven so I don’t think any backlash can be worse than that….I mean, don’t get me wrong, I don’t want this, but it’s the fate bestowed upon me for my infidelity…and as a man I take responsibility for my actions….my decisions may have not been the best but I stand by each…so I will go forth and I dunno..make the best of it I guess…

I guess I’ll spend most of the day recollecting memories from the portals in my mind…then get in the mind state of it not going to be the world I once knew…I guess I’ll try to make demon friends now since most of the humans are gonna be living it up in heaven…*tear* .

lol aright I can’t go on any longer..I’m beginning to believe myself …but yea all this crazy talk about the world ending…I couldn’t resist poking fun at it…well I guess I’m gonna go have breakfast or something….you know, live a little….I hope no one is taking all this end of the world bullshit seriously…just live life and keep in mind that the end of the world for you is death…so enjoy it while you’re alive..don’t worry about foretold events….that’s only dictated through how you’re living in the present…and if it were all true…I guess since you’re reading this you didn’t make the cut either..*sinister laugh*…stay up folks and remember one day at a time 🙂

The Conversation

Hey and stuff…how’s it going? well I’m just sitting here in this hot room..listening to what you would call a contemporary piece …my mind is moving at 100934787384 mph…well not really but it’s wandering from thought to thought…I have a slight headache also..just read something interesting though..from another blog you can check it out here …she’s a very good writer..before I go any further I’d like to inform you that this is a ramble post..nothing is gonna be remotely coherent…bear with me

I feel weird today..woke up feeling this way..don’t quite know how the rest of the day is gonna play out but I hope someone comes along and brighten it…maybe it’s this heat…this room feels strange…I can feel a lingering energy and it’s making me very uncomfortable..I gotta get rid of it..I hate being stagnant..just sitting and existing..I wanna do more..I feel like I’m fighting for my sanity…I’m on edge………………………………………………………………………………………………………
why is this happening right now…what the hell’s wrong with me????…okay get it together Lije..don’t let what ever this is get you’re too –for lack of a better term–strong for that…leave all this freaking out stuff to the impuissant….there..breathe……………..breathe….that’s better now let’s continue….

Energy is a serious thing….I don’t know what else to ta– wait…oh yea..guess what folks..I have performance coming up…for those of you who don’t know I’m a an recording artist…my genre of music  is Hip-hop..I’m quite good..won’t toot my own horn but if you heard me you’ll like what I do even if you’re not a fan of Hip-hop…not saying you’ll become a fanatic..just saying that you’d enjoy know like one of those..”that was actually nice” moments…I do apologize for that little rant just now though..I was seriously in a dark place at the moment..I know some of you are probably tripped out….(when I say some of you  I mean all)..but that’s okay cause it’s what makes our relationship so being the “nut case” and  you guys being’s the perfect friendship….

but that’s it for me today…hope I didn’t scare you too much…cause then I’d have no one to share my thoughts with if you didn’t wanna read my blog anymore..and I can’t exactly talk to’s not a good’s bad enough I have some of the interests I do now…if I started that then I’d get a free trip to the loony bin..and you wouldn’t want that for your old friend would you now??…so please continue to read and have mixed emotions about why the hell it is you keep reading..until next time…<3 love you guys really…I do!